I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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