Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
