If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
