i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
