My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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