im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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