Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
two words: eviction party
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Shame - the story of my life.
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