new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
