Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
