Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
