What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
only if we run a train.
done.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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