your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
