Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize