I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
