why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
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