that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize