i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
