i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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