i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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