Plan B is the new Plan A
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
