just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
