She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
