I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Two words: nipple clamps
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