in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
