so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
