The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
