so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
