If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
