i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
