did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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