She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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