farters have to be the big spoon...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
