Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
