why didn't you poke me back
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
