# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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