And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
