idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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