Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize