I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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