Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
