I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i out mim tonsoeep
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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