oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize