He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
