Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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