You work out of a Hotel?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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