She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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