i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
A bitchslap is in order.
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