I'm eating all of the evidence.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
