So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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