So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
