There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize