is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
