oh god the rape fog is back!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
