Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
