I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
