He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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