Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
