you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
