That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Randomize
