I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
