I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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