So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
