porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
