I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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