do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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