Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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