That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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